tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60047774596150403752024-02-07T10:50:53.357+08:00bootsybetsybootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-47981851716713806292012-05-24T22:59:00.001+08:002012-05-24T22:59:37.634+08:00MOVING OUT.Closing this blog.. I've made a new one! =D
do check whats happening in my life at mercibeaucoupxx.blogspot.com
I'll see ya when I see ya!
Toodles.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-9834166193398879632012-04-20T22:03:00.000+08:002012-04-20T22:03:03.980+08:00little thoughtHave u ever felt so unwanted? I think it is the worst feeling ever. Being unwanted is a very painful feeling, cos u thought no one wants you. I'm feeling that now. Once, I thought, that who ever gets my love will be very lucky to have me. But I mean, really? Is that true? I don’t think so now. No one wants me and it hurts me so freaking badly… if only there is I wont be this hurt. I was hurt deeply, and no one really notice that.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-6774532885678893472012-03-28T21:23:00.002+08:002012-03-28T21:33:37.044+08:00I have been thinking a lot last night when I had to sleep but I couldn't. <br />you know what?<br />I think, All of I did and all the things that I have were wasted, because hey..he never likes me.<br />I never think about this before, and when I did it breaks me apart. <br />All of this time, I always believe that he likes me, or at least used to like me and maybe that's the reason why I never be able to forget him for over a year. It is simply because I always have insisted that he would actually go back to me. That feeling or belief is the one that makes me stuck in my past. But I realized, what if he never likes me? what if all of this time he lies? hence, it makes me look so stupid by waiting for someone that wont ever like me.<br />So all of my efforts and feelings were wasted just like that? WTF.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-81933441196135197992012-03-20T01:03:00.003+08:002012-03-20T01:27:13.488+08:00Dear ChristineDear cebski, <br /><br />My dearest friend, Christine. Okay I know this sounds so not me but... okay, I am gonna miss you chris. I hope you don't leave, and stay here in Bali, so everytime I got back, I can always see you. But I know it's kinda impossible, that's why it saddens me. <br />Remember when I first text you? You were so cold, and you get me mad! oh well, you are suppose to be kind to a new friend,aren't you? At that time, I never knew we could become this close you know. <br />Talking about you,leaving, makes me realize that EVENTUALLY everyone will go. We will be miles apart, in different countries. yes you, Sherlie and Ching Ching,those who are the closest to me in school, those who I always see in every morning assembly, those who I always ate lunch with, we will be drifting apart. <br />I knew, this time will come, but I never thought it could be this quick. <br />Remember our Biology class with Jiyoung, Dasomm, Cindy and Yescynta? where there is no teacher and we used to laugh and having fun. Remember when we discuss about 'kandang sapi' near Cindy's house? Turns out, I was wrong and you are right. But I was too embarassed to tell you. heheheheheh Remember in ICT class I sat next to you? hahah it was so funny because every practical test I was always disturbed you to tell me how to do it, and I know it upsets you. Remember,you and Sherlie have this running competition on soccer field? hahahahahhaha oh! and remember when we skipped Biology class and got caught by a teacher we thought was Ms. Angie? <br />Memories... you know. These were only small part of my memories with you. <br />Some of them are good, some are bad, but they are great. <br />And dear christine, let me say thank you. <br />Thank you for being a great friend, thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to, thank you for always willingly help me, thank you for gave me these beautiful memories, thank you for all those 'rides', thank you chris, thank you so much. <br />But despite of how sad I am now, I will be happy for you. I know you, leaving, can make you one step closer to what you want to do in your life. <br />Please take care yourself for me. I don't wanna see you sick. Please eat and sleep well, I'm scared you will study too hard and won't eat. Please don't change, and still be you. A cold christine. Please? <br />You are such a great person, cebski. I wish nothing but the best for you.<br /><br />Au revoir.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-30935984623917488682012-03-19T22:09:00.001+08:002012-03-19T22:09:23.925+08:00"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroebootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-91323732436834299082012-03-19T21:02:00.003+08:002012-03-19T21:28:36.588+08:00Look around you and be happy of what you have.I realized I don't thank God enough in my life. <br />I can count how many times I said 'thank you' in my prayer. All i do is keep asking for more and more and more and I'm really sorry for that. <br />I'm not thankful enough of what I have. Not realize how lucky I am to be me and not as any other person. <br />I kept looking for more. More friends, even though i have the best in the world. More money, even though I have more than enough to live a life. More love, even though I have a lot. <br />Well, It is wrong not to be thankful, right?<br />I think the more I'm not being thankful, the more I lose the meaning of life, which is simply... to be happy of what you already have. <br />I realized, I am trying my best to make new friends, too busy to hang out with all of them, and forget those who always there when I need them. Realized I always ask for more money from my dad, and forget how fortunate I am to receive it. And lastly, realized that I force myself too hard to look for more love, and forget how many people have showered my life with their love. <br />Being so avid by searching for more, make me forget of what I have, that's why, from now on I will try to look around me and be happy of what I already have. <br /><br />Toodles ;)bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-6873553140452391902012-03-19T00:13:00.003+08:002012-03-19T00:53:26.510+08:00Little Thought.Feeling like blogging tonight. It's been a while, isn't it? <br />During that interval,I've been thinking a lot about many things. About my life and people IN my life, and there comes a point where I started to realize something. <br />Well, in life, most people want something that don't belong to them, or chase someone who hurt them but in fact, there is always something and someone who is belong and won't hurt them. do you know what I'm trying to say here?<br />Yes, it is right to fight for something that we want, or to fight for someone that we love but sometimes we don't realize that something that we NEED is already there, or someone who loves us is already there, stood and waiting for us just to come by. <br />the point that I realized is, in life, we fought a lot, but sometime those fights do not lead us to something that we expect to have or to someone that we wish to be with, but they simply lead us to other thing, to other person that already there and love us. <br /><br />Well I have been fighting for a long time. Being a tough fighter or even a cry baby, I've been doing it and I feel tired. Well maybe the person who, all this time, I've been fighting for is not the one I've been looking for and I should start to look around my life, and search for him. Search for the one that is waiting for me all this time. <br /><br />What about you?bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-73598507918289674712011-12-02T22:48:00.000+08:002011-12-02T23:00:51.337+08:00No String Attached.I always able to manage myself. always able to control myself. I think I'm a very good controller. Well, sometimes people called me bossy. But whatever you know. <br />I hate it when things did not happen like the way I want them to be, well because it is out of my control. So do I hate it when I couldn't control my own feeling.<br />It has been 2 years. The gap. 2 years since I made it through. I was so fully-controlled by myself. But you never know what happen. And so it happened. Thing that I was afraid the most, happened. I do sometimes blame myself, simply because I was unable control my feeling. <br />But I realized something, you know why am I being hard toward myself about this control thingy? Simply, because I was too afraid to get hurt. <br />Well, I've learned not to expect things, because the more you expect, the higher chance you will be disappointed. And by being able to control myself, for me, it was sort of a prevention you know. Being able to control myself, I know exactly what to expect. Exact and precisely. it gives me sense of security. Because I know I will not get hurt.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-53872410542287023282011-11-27T20:13:00.002+08:002011-11-27T20:29:44.831+08:00All We'd Ever Need"All We'd Ever Need"<br /><br />Boy it's been all this time<br />And I can't get you off my mind<br />And nobody knows it but me<br /><br />I stare at your photograph<br />Still sleep in the shirt you left<br />And nobody knows it but me<br /><br />Everyday I wipe my tears away<br />So many nights I've prayed for you to say<br /><br />[Chorus]<br />I should've been chasing you<br />I should've been trying to prove<br />That you were all that mattered to me<br />I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me<br />And maybe I could've made you believe<br />That what we had was all we'd ever need<br /><br />My friends think I'm moving on<br />But the truth is I'm not that strong<br />And nobody knows it but me<br /><br />And I've kept all the words you said<br />In a box underneath my bed<br />And nobody knows it but me<br /><br />But if you're happy I'll get through somehow<br />But the truth is that I've been screaming out<br /><br />[Repeat Chorus]<br /><br />I should've been chasing you<br />You should've been trying to prove<br />That you were all that mattered to me<br />Oh you should've said all the things<br />That I kept inside of me<br />And maybe you could've made me believe<br />That what we had girl<br />Oh that what we had, what we had<br />It was all we'd ever need<br />It was all we'd ever need<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />my current favourite song. awwwww, i love you Lady Antebellum. You guys are nothing but the best.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-81944993302457658512011-11-27T00:12:00.000+08:002011-11-27T00:17:39.879+08:00love at first sightI know, I haven't blogged for awhile since my last post. Its hard you know. Everytime I open my blog, and read that letter. I've tried to make another blog, tried to make tumblr page. But I kept opening this blog. And I realize, this is my first love. My first baby. And I decided to keep writing...in this blog. Because yes, I love it.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-2034743998024252152011-08-13T20:58:00.002+08:002011-08-13T22:33:59.275+08:00
<br />Dear you,
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<br />Really, i have no idea what to write. Million things came out from my mind, but still i couldn't even put it together. so please, do forgive me for being so stupid.
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<br />Well, lets start with this, how are you? I hope you are doing fine out there. I am everyday wondering how are you doing, what did you eat, or did you sleep well. i always think about you.everyday and every night before i go to sleep. Did you ever think about me?
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<br />How's your life? My life is okay. Not great, not amazing, not bad, it is just.....okay. I still go to the same school, still go with school bus. nothing has really changed, except the fact that people left, that you left. I still join business class. Still sit near elgine, but what is really changed is no more you.I remember in my first business class, you sit behind me and the first thing you said when I asked you, who are you, you said that you are 'that' person who sit behind me in business class. did you ever notice that somehow you always-almost actually-sit behind me every business class? please, correct me if i'm wrong. te he.
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<br />The day you left, would you believe me that I was in the airport? would you believe me, if i say that I was in my car,too scared to get out because I have no guts to say goodbye to you? I wish i have the strength that day, so at least I can see you for the last time. But you know i don't, so I sent you a message, that you never received because of that stupid provider. How i wish you receive that message, so at least i can hear you say goodbye to me. But all of those things I wish might happen, did not happen at all. it is sad you know.. it is.
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<br />And, dear you, I miss you like shit. You don't know how much I suffer after you left. Every day. Every single night. Every time I think about you, I feel like want to cry. I always want to cry.
<br />Everytime I pray, I always ask Him, how are you. cos I have no idea how are you doing. I ask Him to always look after you, because I no longer could. And after a month you left, I still crying. I am crying while I wrote this. I am crying when I saw you online in YM. do you know why? because I am too scared to do everything. I don't want to be disappointed with your response, too scared that you might think I am just nobody in your life, that i might am.
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<br />No one is actually there for me when you left. do you know how it feels? it feels like.. I am so lonely in this world. No one takes it seriously, nobody. and I expect them to do nothing cos they don't understand.
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<br />I know i cant live like this forever, i know i cant. I decided to get out from your life forever. No access for you to reach me. But not now. It is not the right time, cos I am not ready. I have no idea, how my life would be without you. Give me a little bit longer, And I will completely let you go. I promise this to myself.
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<br />It is a letter for you, actually. But as you know, I am too scared to tell this directly to you, so I wrote it here. You might not be able to read this, because you did not even know that it is exist or you might read this, but I was gone already. I have no idea what will happen. but, who knows? I didn't expect any reply.. I wrote this just to let you know what truly happen to me, what I truly feel. you might don't want to know anything about me anymore, and that's fine, but it is a big deal for me, so i hope if you find this you'll willing to read the whole thing.
<br />
<br />I never be able to say thank you to you. so now I will. thanks for being nice to me, I always thought you are the first person who really care about me in my first year, thanks for used to love me, even though you told me 3 times that you didn't anymore, thanks for those late conversations at night which always make me laugh, thanks for all the cares you gave to me, it is such a sweet thing from you, and thanks for being a part of my life. I am really thankful and I hope you know that.
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<br />You are such an amazing person. I hope your life will be better from now on.
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<br />I have no idea when will we meet again, or it might be that we will never meet for forever. but I hope we will meet again someday, when everything is so much easier than now, when we are on the same road, when you understand me. I guess its time to say goodbye.. please take care of yourself for me, don't do silly things, eat and sleep well. I hope we can meet again soon.
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<br />PS : I still love you.
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<br />Chacha.
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<br />It took me almost a month to write this.bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6004777459615040375.post-41764803099750146312011-08-13T20:55:00.001+08:002011-08-13T20:58:05.359+08:00Walking Away.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BKtkA4lDQ0DOVzVvVd5H94L7YirNrAyxRGKGgiE_sdDeKI8knLbgz7mzdw3mXLpU3ZXTDxuSemERqCyvf5zgWxOOmf1kieeegzbzUhp0Aux_e37aCSC38qXaPBKi2neU1TlIwEOc_QE/s1600/walking-away_2+copy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BKtkA4lDQ0DOVzVvVd5H94L7YirNrAyxRGKGgiE_sdDeKI8knLbgz7mzdw3mXLpU3ZXTDxuSemERqCyvf5zgWxOOmf1kieeegzbzUhp0Aux_e37aCSC38qXaPBKi2neU1TlIwEOc_QE/s400/walking-away_2+copy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5640323588084827042" /></a>
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<br />bootsybetsyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18004658995639689322noreply@blogger.com0